Kendall Henderson - Adolescent Male Friendship

The theme that really stuck out to me most in Diary was Rowdy and Arnold's friendship and how openly and unashamedly Arnold writes about how much Rowdy means to him. I think that often for young boys (and continuing into male adulthood), expressing emotion and acknowledging love within their male friendships is something that's considered "girly," as Rowdy calls it, or embarrassing. Boys are expected to hole up in man caves, eat Cheetos, and play X-Box, talking about girls only in terms of hookups and never about anything with serious emotion. It was so striking and touching to read Arnold so honestly talk about his love and admiration for Rowdy and to see how they both reveal their true selves to each other. I think Rowdy secretly loving corny Archie comics and having big dreams that he'd never tell anyone but Arnold is something that any young boy who feels like he has to deal with the world through violence or hardness could relate to, and this book is such an important validation for young boys that their friendships can be important and intimate and loving. 
The caption of Arnold's last comic depicting Rowdy and him jumping into the lake really made me want to cry. "Boys can hold hands until they turn nine" really expresses so much about the pressures put on boys to become men once they hit puberty, similar to what Arnold expresses when he tells the reporter at the basketball game he feels like he's had to grow up too fast and had to make choices as a high school freshman that will dictate his happiness forever. It feels like something is forced to die not just in young boys but all adolescents who start to go through puberty: earnestness and vulnerability are shamed and appearances become the focus, not just through peer pressure but through adult pressure as well. The reporter just wants Arnold to say something good for TV, Mr. P wants Arnold to get off the reservation and make a better life for himself as penance for Mr. P and to become a symbol of a Successful Indian in the White World, his teacher at Reardan wants him to be the quiet stupid Indian and is furious when he's intelligent. Arnold is having to reconcile the expectations placed on him as he enters teenagerdom with his real feelings. The world is telling him that he and Rowdy can't be friends, but all Arnold wants is for Rowdy to know how much he still loves him, even though they're growing up and society is trying to separate them.
I also feel like this says a lot about early judgments placed on kids. Rowdy is written off by Mr. P as someone who's angry and just wants to spread the pain he feels, but Arnold knows he has dreams and ambitions and softness inside him. Someone like Rowdy would be left behind by the educational system and probably refused at Reardan, whereas someone like Arnold-- unassuming, nonthreatening, amenable-- is given the opportunity to elevate himself. 
There are so many other relationships in the novel that are forced apart by social circumstances and the tragedy of what Arnold feels Indian life and attitude has become, but to me Rowdy and Arnold's relationship is the one that young readers, especially boys, need. For a young boy reading this to feel confident that he can be himself with his friends, tell them about his dreams, show them his drawings, talk to them about crushes, or most importantly cry in front of his friends would be so affirming and confidence-boosting. Female friendships have their own complexities and need equal literary examples but I think books about loving male friendships are exceedingly rarer. Diary made me think of the novel Spud by John van de Ruit; both look at the friendships of young schoolboys and their social and cultural experiences through their personal thoughts and diaries. They also both focus more on the intricacies of friendship rather than the more trite romantic plot lines. In a world where so many books focus on first loves and romantic awakenings, to acknowledge that platonic relationships are just as meaningful and important is so, so important in my opinion.